Someday......

I would like to drop Amelia off for a playdate or bring her somewhere new and not have to hand over one of these!!! A 4 inch long epi pen along with an inhaler and pre-dosed benadryl packs. Then I hold my breath that they won't back out as I watch the blood drain from the adults face as they see the size of the epi-pen in relation to Amelia and then even more paleness as I try to be as upbeat as possible and explain, "you will have to stab her in the leg then call 911 and if it's not working, stab her again. But you will be fine". Since they are freaked out enough and swear to keep all food from her, I don't go on to say, "she will resist you and you will probably have to use force, and don't let those chicken legs fool you, she is strong. And did I mention she might throw up all over you too!! But the upside is if you are using the epi-pen, she probably won't be able to scream once the swelling gets too bad." I like them to think that the procedure will be something like this picture. An adult lovingly and slowly taking the time to teach the child how to do it themselves. I can just hear her say, "Good job Joey. I like the way you are ergonomically holding that epi-pen to avoid wrist strain. Don't forget to stab it into your upper, outer thigh using slight force. On the count of three. Ready, 1......"

More than once I have heard, "aren't you afraid it will go right thru her leg????" Haven't thought about that until now, but now that you mention it, you should try not to break the needle in her leg or stab it in her bone. Oh, and try not to stab yourself. It is made to go through clothes and known to go completely through fingers. But you'll do fine!!! (lots of big smiles and pats on the arms or backs) Good luck!! See you in an hour or 2!!!

Now maybe it makes more sense why I hesitate to leave her anywhere or ask people to watch her!!! It's kind of a big favor to ask someone to make sure you keep my child away from all food, and if in the unlucky event something slips through the cracks, you will have to be a nurse and administer this huge needle to her while trying to remain calm and not traumatizing the other children around you while they have to watch this unfold! And if I can't get to you quick enough, you will have to load up in the ambulance to go with her to the hospital. I feel like a bad person asking someone to take on that responsibility, but I realize she needs friends and opportunities, so I am getting better about letting go. Little bits at a time. Maybe by the time she goes to college I will be ready!!
If you have been one of the people that have watched Amelia, you are the best!!! And I am so glad no one has ever had to endure the fiasco of an epi-pen yet!!!

When I decided to write this, I got on epi-pens official site because I wanted a pic for this post. Also, they updated the packaging and directions and I was curious what they had to say about it. I found myself watching the instructional video on how to use it (you know, to keep myself up to date on using this monster) and then was horrified to see the needle being pulled out of the person's leg and it seemed like it just kept going. This is the still image but if you are curious and WILDLY bored (seriously, you have got to get a hobby if you are willing to read this let alone, watch this video!!) you can see the video and see what I am talking about. The orange part is the needle case. BIG. So I guess I should be concerned about it getting in her bone. Yikes!!
But seriously, I'll do fine!! Someone come pat me on the back now.